Swimming is good for you, especially if you're drowning. Not only do you get a cardiovascular workout but also you don't die.

My favourite road sign is 'Falling Rocks'. What exactly am I supposed to do with that information? They may as well have a sign saying "Random accidents ahead", "Life's a lottery, Be lucky."

You never want to be the grumpy guy, although I do have quite a grumpy face.

As soon as I did my first five minutes of stand-up I knew that I would rather be a failure at comedy than a success in marketing.

Eighteen years since the Chernobyl disaster. Is it just me surprized? Still no superheroes!

Swimming is good for you, especially if you're drowning. Not only do you get a cardiovascular workout but also you don't die.

Remember to never answer a phone during sex, even if you hilariously answer with 'I can't talk now, I'm going into a tunnel'.