A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true.
More people are going out to comedy shows than they were before.
I like to write a joke without any fat on it.The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically.
If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?
After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering granny's words of wisdom. I cancel the late-night pizza and watch the Jonathan Ross show instead.
My favourite road sign is 'Falling Rocks'. What exactly am I supposed to do with that information? They may as well have a sign saying "Random accidents ahead", "Life's a lottery, Be lucky."