Swimming is good for you, especially if you're drowning. Not only do you get a cardiovascular workout but also you don't die.

It had to be hammered home quite a bit because I didn't see any humour in my life at all.

My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.

I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me.

I may be middle class, but I'm hard. 'Al dente', you could say.

I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead.

I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was 'Shout For Help'.