There was one time where I failed to perform sexually. My girlfriend said to me "oh don't worry, it happens to a lot of guys". Ok, there are two things wrong with that. First of all who are these other guys?, and second of all if it's happening to more than one of us, don't you think it could be YOUR fault?

People with Tourettes.....What makes them tick?

I like to write a joke without any fat on it.The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically.

Cats have nine lives. Makes them ideal for experimentation.

Boxers don't have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is? They don't fancy each other.

It had to be hammered home quite a bit because I didn't see any humour in my life at all.

I go around the country and do a simple gag like, 'The property ladder is now a snake' and get a real laugh.