There was one time where I failed to perform sexually. My girlfriend said to me "oh don't worry, it happens to a lot of guys". Ok, there are two things wrong with that. First of all who are these other guys?, and second of all if it's happening to more than one of us, don't you think it could be YOUR fault?

Say what you want about the deaf.

I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand.

Swimming is good for you, especially if you're drowning. Not only do you get a cardiovascular workout but also you don't die.

I was a Christian. I didn't want to have sex before marriage, I was a bit uptight and not very self-confident. I was a virgin until I was 26.

When someone close to you dies, move seats.

I have no problems with buying tampons. I am a fairly modern man. But apparently they're not a "proper" present. "Happy birthday, mum!"