British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!

Yes, I have this crazy honk of a laugh.

I like to write a joke without any fat on it.The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically.

If only Africa had more mosquito nets then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of aids.

Eighteen years since the Chernobyl disaster. Is it just me surprized? Still no superheroes!

I may be middle class, but I'm hard. 'Al dente', you could say.

My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.