British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!

It is such a social thing, laughing. Two thousand people in a room laughing is such a great buzz and they tend to laugh much more in a group.

I was in the South of France. I saw a Brownie on a school trip. She was holding up a book. It said on the front 'rough guide'. I thought: 'Yeah' she's not a looker.

I may be middle class, but I'm hard. 'Al dente', you could say.

British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!

The reason old man use Viagra is not that they are impotent. It's that old women are so very ugly.

No matter how much you give a homeless person for tea... you never get that tea.