I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead.
Jimmy CarrAs soon as I did my first five minutes of stand-up I knew that I would rather be a failure at comedy than a success in marketing.
Jimmy CarrTen years after the Chernobyl accident, and am I the only one that's disappointed? Still no superheros.
Jimmy CarrThere was one time where I failed to perform sexually. My girlfriend said to me "oh don't worry, it happens to a lot of guys". Ok, there are two things wrong with that. First of all who are these other guys?, and second of all if it's happening to more than one of us, don't you think it could be YOUR fault?
Jimmy Carr