I did a gig in the U.S. once for the homeless. I said 'It's nice to see so many bums on seats.'

Remember to never answer a phone during sex, even if you hilariously answer with 'I can't talk now, I'm going into a tunnel'.

There's things that I couldn't joke about but other people could.

Staying in luxury hotels still gives me a kick, especially Oulton Hall in Yorkshire. I'd stay in a hotel for the breakfast and room service.

I am trying to release endorphins here. I am not preaching to you - I am trying to make you laugh.

My father always used to say, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger," - 'til the accident.

My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian.