I've got a friend whose nickname is "Shagger". You might think that's pretty cool. She doesn't like it.

I like to write a joke without any fat on it.The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically.

I go around the country and do a simple gag like, 'The property ladder is now a snake' and get a real laugh.

I pay what I have to and not a penny more.

It had to be hammered home quite a bit because I didn't see any humour in my life at all.

I live near a remedial school. There is a sign that says, slow... children. That can't be good for their self esteem. But look of course on the positive side, they can't read it.

Let's face it, the gene pool needs a little chlorine.