When people come over to my house for dinner, I always have a vegetarian option. They can make do, or they can **** off!

Jesus loves you... He's not 'in love' with you.

I did a gig in the U.S. once for the homeless. I said 'It's nice to see so many bums on seats.'

The 2012 Olympics is going to cost £8 billion which is a lot of money. It'll probably bankrupt London. But you can't put a price on two bronze medals in cycling.

I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead.

My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.

I was a Christian. I didn't want to have sex before marriage, I was a bit uptight and not very self-confident. I was a virgin until I was 26.