I don't see myself as offending people.
I like to write a joke without any fat on it.The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically.
The first few weeks of joining Weight Watchers, you're just finding your feet.
Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"
Let's face it, the gene pool needs a little chlorine.
If I'm at home for the weekend - and that is almost never - I tend to get twitchy at about eight o'clock in the evening because my body clock is timed to go on stage. I don't know what to do with myself.