I did a gig in the U.S. once for the homeless. I said 'It's nice to see so many bums on seats.'
Jimmy CarrThe 2012 Olympics is going to cost £8 billion which is a lot of money. It'll probably bankrupt London. But you can't put a price on two bronze medals in cycling.
Jimmy CarrI worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead.
Jimmy Carr