I pay what I have to and not a penny more.

I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was 'Shout For Help'.

I saw a charity appeal in the Guardian the other day, and it read "Little Zuki has to walk 13 miles a day just to fetch water". And I couldn't help thinking, she should move.

My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.

Saying that you don't believe in magic but do believe in god is a bit like saying you don't have sex with dogs, except labradors.

When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.

Viagra has instructions: 'Keep away from children' - what kind of man do you think I am?