A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true.

I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.

There's things that I couldn't joke about but other people could.

It had to be hammered home quite a bit because I didn't see any humour in my life at all.

Remember to never answer a phone during sex, even if you hilariously answer with 'I can't talk now, I'm going into a tunnel'.

Women were quite terrifying until I was older. I think that's partly down to confidence.

My mum told me the best time to ask my dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I'd ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying "Can I have a new bike?". He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.