Staying in luxury hotels still gives me a kick, especially Oulton Hall in Yorkshire. I'd stay in a hotel for the breakfast and room service.

A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, 'Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?' I said, 'All right, but we won't get much done.'

If only Africa had more mosquito nets then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of aids.

I used to buy lottery tickets every week until I realised you could watch it on TV for nothing.

I am trying to release endorphins here. I am not preaching to you - I am trying to make you laugh.

My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.

No matter how much you give a homeless person for tea... you never get that tea.