Staying in luxury hotels still gives me a kick, especially Oulton Hall in Yorkshire. I'd stay in a hotel for the breakfast and room service.

Like most of the world's population I'm into coffee, my perfect weekend would start with a pint of coffee.

A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true.

Throwing acid is wrong... in some people's eyes.

People with Tourettes.....What makes them tick?

I like to write a joke without any fat on it.The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically.

I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand.