Eighteen years since the Chernobyl disaster. Is it just me surprized? Still no superheroes!

A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, 'Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?' I said, 'All right, but we won't get much done.'

I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.

I had a survey done on my house. 8 out of 10 people said they really rather liked it

I like to write a joke without any fat on it.The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically.

I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was 'Shout For Help'.

I do realise that when I laugh, it sounds like a seal is being molested.