Eighteen years since the Chernobyl disaster. Is it just me surprized? Still no superheroes!

Saying that you don't believe in magic but do believe in god is a bit like saying you don't have sex with dogs, except labradors.

Let's face it, the gene pool needs a little chlorine.

I don't think young people should have bottoms, they're too young for that sort of thing.

See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Rohypnol

After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering granny's words of wisdom. I cancel the late-night pizza and watch the Jonathan Ross show instead.

Staying in luxury hotels still gives me a kick, especially Oulton Hall in Yorkshire. I'd stay in a hotel for the breakfast and room service.