Women were quite terrifying until I was older. I think that's partly down to confidence.

I was out with a friend and he came over with a pair of girls. I said to him "They're like buses." He said "What? Because you wait for ages and then two come along at once." I said "No, they are like buses!"

I had a survey done on my house. 8 out of 10 people said they really rather liked it

I like to write a joke without any fat on it.The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically.

People with Tourettes.....What makes them tick?

Even if you're doing the national insurance awards, there's still that excitement when you wonder who is going to win, er, best premiums.

In Pizza Express you can get garlic bread with cheese and tomato. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but that's a pizza.