I'm not worried about the Third World War. That's the Third World's Problem.
Let's face it, the gene pool needs a little chlorine.
Jesus loves you... He's not 'in love' with you.
The tragedy for comedians is there's nothing more they want than to be liked. We desperately seek approval. It's almost like a personality disorder you can do as a job.
The first few weeks of joining Weight Watchers, you're just finding your feet.
I think the idea that death is not the end, that your dog's just gone to live on the farm, is limiting. Thoughts like that prevent you from making the most of the time that you have.