Put Smarties tubes on cats legs, make them walk like a robot.

I pay what I have to and not a penny more.

I'm obsessed with TV. How wrong our parents were when they said we should only watch an hour a day. Stop wasting your time reading books.

How many airports are there in the world?

It had to be hammered home quite a bit because I didn't see any humour in my life at all.

The 2012 Olympics is going to cost £8 billion which is a lot of money. It'll probably bankrupt London. But you can't put a price on two bronze medals in cycling.

Boxers don't have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is? They don't fancy each other.