Put Smarties tubes on cats legs, make them walk like a robot.

The bigger the audience, the better with comedy.

Say what you want about the deaf.

My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.

My father always used to say, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger," - 'til the accident.

I said to my girlfriend, you shouldn't eat before you swim. She said, "why not"? I said, you look fat.

I think the idea that death is not the end, that your dog's just gone to live on the farm, is limiting. Thoughts like that prevent you from making the most of the time that you have.