Even if you're doing the national insurance awards, there's still that excitement when you wonder who is going to win, er, best premiums.

I, of course, don't have an accent. This is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly.

How many airports are there in the world?

There's things that I couldn't joke about but other people could.

Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"

Let's face it, the gene pool needs a little chlorine.

I think the idea that death is not the end, that your dog's just gone to live on the farm, is limiting. Thoughts like that prevent you from making the most of the time that you have.