I don't see myself as offending people.

It is such a social thing, laughing. Two thousand people in a room laughing is such a great buzz and they tend to laugh much more in a group.

It had to be hammered home quite a bit because I didn't see any humour in my life at all.

I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead.

I did a gig in the U.S. once for the homeless. I said 'It's nice to see so many bums on seats.'

I'm not worried about the Third World War. That's the Third World's Problem.

Once I was doing a sponsored walk. In the end I managed to raise so much money, I could afford a taxi.