My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.

How many airports are there in the world?

I have no problems with buying tampons. I am a fairly modern man. But apparently they're not a "proper" present. "Happy birthday, mum!"

See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Rohypnol

Boxers don't have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is? They don't fancy each other.

I live near a remedial school. There is a sign that says, slow... children. That can't be good for their self esteem. But look of course on the positive side, they can't read it.

If only Africa had more mosquito nets then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of aids.