I may be middle class, but I'm hard. 'Al dente', you could say.

Even if you're doing the national insurance awards, there's still that excitement when you wonder who is going to win, er, best premiums.

Throwing acid is wrong... in some people's eyes.

You go, well you can't joke about race. Well if you're from a different race and that's your experience of the world and you want to talk about that, then fine. Or you can't talk about disability, but disabled comics can talk about that.

My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian.

I did a gig in the U.S. once for the homeless. I said 'It's nice to see so many bums on seats.'

If I'm at home for the weekend - and that is almost never - I tend to get twitchy at about eight o'clock in the evening because my body clock is timed to go on stage. I don't know what to do with myself.