I may be middle class, but I'm hard. 'Al dente', you could say.

In Pizza Express you can get garlic bread with cheese and tomato. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but that's a pizza.

I like to write a joke without any fat on it.The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically.

Like most of the world's population I'm into coffee, my perfect weekend would start with a pint of coffee.

I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead.

I did a gig in the U.S. once for the homeless. I said 'It's nice to see so many bums on seats.'

Throwing acid is wrong... in some people's eyes.