The first few weeks of joining Weight Watchers, you're just finding your feet.

I'm obsessed with TV. How wrong our parents were when they said we should only watch an hour a day. Stop wasting your time reading books.

If I'm at home for the weekend - and that is almost never - I tend to get twitchy at about eight o'clock in the evening because my body clock is timed to go on stage. I don't know what to do with myself.

A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true.

My father always used to say, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger," - 'til the accident.

I used to buy lottery tickets every week until I realised you could watch it on TV for nothing.

Like most of the world's population I'm into coffee, my perfect weekend would start with a pint of coffee.