I don't think it's any coincidence that I lost my religious faith and 'manned up' in the same year. I was described somewhere as a lapsed Catholic, which is funny because I'm not going back! I want to achieve things rather than live life in an animalistic way.

The first few weeks of joining Weight Watchers, you're just finding your feet.

I think the idea that death is not the end, that your dog's just gone to live on the farm, is limiting. Thoughts like that prevent you from making the most of the time that you have.

I, of course, don't have an accent. This is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly.

Boxers don't have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is? They don't fancy each other.

My favourite road sign is 'Falling Rocks'. What exactly am I supposed to do with that information? They may as well have a sign saying "Random accidents ahead", "Life's a lottery, Be lucky."

No matter how much you give a homeless person for tea... you never get that tea.