I don't think it's any coincidence that I lost my religious faith and 'manned up' in the same year. I was described somewhere as a lapsed Catholic, which is funny because I'm not going back! I want to achieve things rather than live life in an animalistic way.

Staying in luxury hotels still gives me a kick, especially Oulton Hall in Yorkshire. I'd stay in a hotel for the breakfast and room service.

A big girl once came up to me after a show and said "I think you're fatist." I said "No, no. I think you're fattest."

How many airports are there in the world?

I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.

Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"

See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Rohypnol