I don't think it's any coincidence that I lost my religious faith and 'manned up' in the same year. I was described somewhere as a lapsed Catholic, which is funny because I'm not going back! I want to achieve things rather than live life in an animalistic way.

A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, 'Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?' I said, 'All right, but we won't get much done.'

I did a gig in the U.S. once for the homeless. I said 'It's nice to see so many bums on seats.'

How many airports are there in the world?

I am trying to release endorphins here. I am not preaching to you - I am trying to make you laugh.

My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.

Throwing acid is wrong... in some people's eyes.