I don't think it's any coincidence that I lost my religious faith and 'manned up' in the same year. I was described somewhere as a lapsed Catholic, which is funny because I'm not going back! I want to achieve things rather than live life in an animalistic way.

When people come over to my house for dinner, I always have a vegetarian option. They can make do, or they can **** off!

When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.

I think they got it wrong with Saddam Hussein. They thought he had the A-Bomb. Instead he had a bomb.

More people are going out to comedy shows than they were before.

Put Smarties tubes on cats legs, make them walk like a robot.

I've got a friend whose nickname is "Shagger". You might think that's pretty cool. She doesn't like it.