I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was 'Shout For Help'.

Staying in luxury hotels still gives me a kick, especially Oulton Hall in Yorkshire. I'd stay in a hotel for the breakfast and room service.

If only Africa had more mosquito nets then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of aids.

A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, 'Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?' I said, 'All right, but we won't get much done.'

I think they got it wrong with Saddam Hussein. They thought he had the A-Bomb. Instead he had a bomb.

My favourite road sign is 'Falling Rocks'. What exactly am I supposed to do with that information? They may as well have a sign saying "Random accidents ahead", "Life's a lottery, Be lucky."

You never want to be the grumpy guy, although I do have quite a grumpy face.