Let's face it, the gene pool needs a little chlorine.

As soon as I did my first five minutes of stand-up I knew that I would rather be a failure at comedy than a success in marketing.

I've got a friend whose nickname is "Shagger". You might think that's pretty cool. She doesn't like it.

Jesus loves you... He's not 'in love' with you.

The 2012 Olympics is going to cost £8 billion which is a lot of money. It'll probably bankrupt London. But you can't put a price on two bronze medals in cycling.

I live near a remedial school. There is a sign that says, slow... children. That can't be good for their self esteem. But look of course on the positive side, they can't read it.

Viagra has instructions: 'Keep away from children' - what kind of man do you think I am?