I think they got it wrong with Saddam Hussein. They thought he had the A-Bomb. Instead he had a bomb.

I've got a friend whose nickname is "Shagger". You might think that's pretty cool. She doesn't like it.

My mum told me the best time to ask my dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I'd ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying "Can I have a new bike?". He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.

In Pizza Express you can get garlic bread with cheese and tomato. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but that's a pizza.

Women were quite terrifying until I was older. I think that's partly down to confidence.

I don't think it's any coincidence that I lost my religious faith and 'manned up' in the same year. I was described somewhere as a lapsed Catholic, which is funny because I'm not going back! I want to achieve things rather than live life in an animalistic way.

I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead.