Swimming is good for you, especially if you're drowning. Not only do you get a cardiovascular workout but also you don't die.
Jimmy CarrBoxers don't have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is? They don't fancy each other.
Jimmy CarrI did a gig in the U.S. once for the homeless. I said 'It's nice to see so many bums on seats.'
Jimmy CarrSaying that you don't believe in magic but do believe in god is a bit like saying you don't have sex with dogs, except labradors.
Jimmy Carr