I have no problems with buying tampons. I am a fairly modern man. But apparently they're not a "proper" present. "Happy birthday, mum!"

My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her, so I said "Alright, fatty."

People with Tourettes.....What makes them tick?

Even if you're doing the national insurance awards, there's still that excitement when you wonder who is going to win, er, best premiums.

British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!

When I was a kid I had an imaginary friend and I used to think that he went everywhere with me, and that I could talk to him and that he could hear me, and that he could grant me wishes and stuff. And then I grew up, and I stopped going to church.

I don't think young people should have bottoms, they're too young for that sort of thing.