I have no problems with buying tampons. I am a fairly modern man. But apparently they're not a "proper" present. "Happy birthday, mum!"

See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Rohypnol

I used to buy lottery tickets every week until I realised you could watch it on TV for nothing.

If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?

I don't think young people should have bottoms, they're too young for that sort of thing.

I was in the South of France. I saw a Brownie on a school trip. She was holding up a book. It said on the front 'rough guide'. I thought: 'Yeah' she's not a looker.

I was a Christian. I didn't want to have sex before marriage, I was a bit uptight and not very self-confident. I was a virgin until I was 26.