Saying that you don't believe in magic but do believe in god is a bit like saying you don't have sex with dogs, except labradors.

More people are going out to comedy shows than they were before.

I saw a charity appeal in the Guardian the other day, and it read "Little Zuki has to walk 13 miles a day just to fetch water". And I couldn't help thinking, she should move.

When people come over to my house for dinner, I always have a vegetarian option. They can make do, or they can **** off!

As soon as I did my first five minutes of stand-up I knew that I would rather be a failure at comedy than a success in marketing.

If only Africa had more mosquito nets then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of aids.

Women were quite terrifying until I was older. I think that's partly down to confidence.