Cats have nine lives. Makes them ideal for experimentation.

I do realise that when I laugh, it sounds like a seal is being molested.

My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her, so I said "Alright, fatty."

I was in the South of France. I saw a Brownie on a school trip. She was holding up a book. It said on the front 'rough guide'. I thought: 'Yeah' she's not a looker.

There was one time where I failed to perform sexually. My girlfriend said to me "oh don't worry, it happens to a lot of guys". Ok, there are two things wrong with that. First of all who are these other guys?, and second of all if it's happening to more than one of us, don't you think it could be YOUR fault?

Cats have nine lives. Makes them ideal for experimentation.

Even if you're doing the national insurance awards, there's still that excitement when you wonder who is going to win, er, best premiums.