Even if you're doing the national insurance awards, there's still that excitement when you wonder who is going to win, er, best premiums.
I do realise that when I laugh, it sounds like a seal is being molested.
Jesus loves you... He's not 'in love' with you.
When people come over to my house for dinner, I always have a vegetarian option. They can make do, or they can **** off!
A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true.
If only Africa had more mosquito nets then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of aids.