If I'm at home for the weekend - and that is almost never - I tend to get twitchy at about eight o'clock in the evening because my body clock is timed to go on stage. I don't know what to do with myself.

Ten years after the Chernobyl accident, and am I the only one that's disappointed? Still no superheros.

I'm obsessed with TV. How wrong our parents were when they said we should only watch an hour a day. Stop wasting your time reading books.

Women were quite terrifying until I was older. I think that's partly down to confidence.

The first few weeks of joining Weight Watchers, you're just finding your feet.

Even if you're doing the national insurance awards, there's still that excitement when you wonder who is going to win, er, best premiums.

As soon as I did my first five minutes of stand-up I knew that I would rather be a failure at comedy than a success in marketing.