The tragedy for comedians is there's nothing more they want than to be liked. We desperately seek approval. It's almost like a personality disorder you can do as a job.

All comedians are a bit attention-seeking and I'm no different. Anyone with the audacity to want to be listened to for an hour and a half must be.

I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead.

I may be middle class, but I'm hard. 'Al dente', you could say.

Swimming is good for you, especially if you're drowning. Not only do you get a cardiovascular workout but also you don't die.

I had a survey done on my house. 8 out of 10 people said they really rather liked it

No matter how much you give a homeless person for tea... you never get that tea.