The tragedy for comedians is there's nothing more they want than to be liked. We desperately seek approval. It's almost like a personality disorder you can do as a job.

My father always used to say, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger," - 'til the accident.

Like most of the world's population I'm into coffee, my perfect weekend would start with a pint of coffee.

Boxers don't have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is? They don't fancy each other.

Yes, I have this crazy honk of a laugh.

I had a survey done on my house. 8 out of 10 people said they really rather liked it

I think they got it wrong with Saddam Hussein. They thought he had the A-Bomb. Instead he had a bomb.