The tragedy for comedians is there's nothing more they want than to be liked. We desperately seek approval. It's almost like a personality disorder you can do as a job.

Like most of the world's population I'm into coffee, my perfect weekend would start with a pint of coffee.

It had to be hammered home quite a bit because I didn't see any humour in my life at all.

You never want to be the grumpy guy, although I do have quite a grumpy face.

I was in the South of France. I saw a Brownie on a school trip. She was holding up a book. It said on the front 'rough guide'. I thought: 'Yeah' she's not a looker.

When I was a kid I had an imaginary friend and I used to think that he went everywhere with me, and that I could talk to him and that he could hear me, and that he could grant me wishes and stuff. And then I grew up, and I stopped going to church.

I do realise that when I laugh, it sounds like a seal is being molested.