No matter how much you give a homeless person for tea... you never get that tea.

I've got a friend whose nickname is "Shagger". You might think that's pretty cool. She doesn't like it.

How many airports are there in the world?

I pay what I have to and not a penny more.

I saw a charity appeal in the Guardian the other day, and it read "Little Zuki has to walk 13 miles a day just to fetch water". And I couldn't help thinking, she should move.

Eighteen years since the Chernobyl disaster. Is it just me surprized? Still no superheroes!

My mum told me the best time to ask my dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I'd ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying "Can I have a new bike?". He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.