Viagra has instructions: 'Keep away from children' - what kind of man do you think I am?

Say what you want about the deaf.

Eighteen years since the Chernobyl disaster. Is it just me surprized? Still no superheroes!

I was in the South of France. I saw a Brownie on a school trip. She was holding up a book. It said on the front 'rough guide'. I thought: 'Yeah' she's not a looker.

Ten years after the Chernobyl accident, and am I the only one that's disappointed? Still no superheros.

I used to buy lottery tickets every week until I realised you could watch it on TV for nothing.

In Pizza Express you can get garlic bread with cheese and tomato. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but that's a pizza.