I, of course, don't have an accent. This is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly.

I saw a charity appeal in the Guardian the other day, and it read "Little Zuki has to walk 13 miles a day just to fetch water". And I couldn't help thinking, she should move.

My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian.

Even if you're doing the national insurance awards, there's still that excitement when you wonder who is going to win, er, best premiums.

More people are going out to comedy shows than they were before.

I'm not worried about the Third World War. That's the Third World's Problem.

See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Rohypnol