I, of course, don't have an accent. This is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly.

My mum told me the best time to ask my dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I'd ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying "Can I have a new bike?". He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.

Remember to never answer a phone during sex, even if you hilariously answer with 'I can't talk now, I'm going into a tunnel'.

The reason old man use Viagra is not that they are impotent. It's that old women are so very ugly.

Ten years after the Chernobyl accident, and am I the only one that's disappointed? Still no superheros.

Boxers don't have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is? They don't fancy each other.

More people are going out to comedy shows than they were before.