I, of course, don't have an accent. This is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly.

All comedians are a bit attention-seeking and I'm no different. Anyone with the audacity to want to be listened to for an hour and a half must be.

I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me.

A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true.

I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand.

Swimming is good for you, especially if you're drowning. Not only do you get a cardiovascular workout but also you don't die.

It's so clear cut with a comedian - you have that reflex action, whereby you laugh or you don't. And so you either love us or you simply cannot see why people are laughing.