The 2012 Olympics is going to cost £8 billion which is a lot of money. It'll probably bankrupt London. But you can't put a price on two bronze medals in cycling.

Even if you're doing the national insurance awards, there's still that excitement when you wonder who is going to win, er, best premiums.

I don't think it's any coincidence that I lost my religious faith and 'manned up' in the same year. I was described somewhere as a lapsed Catholic, which is funny because I'm not going back! I want to achieve things rather than live life in an animalistic way.

British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!

I do realise that when I laugh, it sounds like a seal is being molested.

I had a survey done on my house. 8 out of 10 people said they really rather liked it

Jesus loves you... He's not 'in love' with you.