The 2012 Olympics is going to cost £8 billion which is a lot of money. It'll probably bankrupt London. But you can't put a price on two bronze medals in cycling.

My mum told me the best time to ask my dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I'd ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying "Can I have a new bike?". He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.

Ten years after the Chernobyl accident, and am I the only one that's disappointed? Still no superheros.

A big girl once came up to me after a show and said "I think you're fatist." I said "No, no. I think you're fattest."

No matter how much you give a homeless person for tea... you never get that tea.

My father always used to say, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger," - 'til the accident.

Even if you're doing the national insurance awards, there's still that excitement when you wonder who is going to win, er, best premiums.