Say what you want about the deaf.

Viagra has instructions: 'Keep away from children' - what kind of man do you think I am?

I don't think young people should have bottoms, they're too young for that sort of thing.

It is such a social thing, laughing. Two thousand people in a room laughing is such a great buzz and they tend to laugh much more in a group.

I was out with a friend and he came over with a pair of girls. I said to him "They're like buses." He said "What? Because you wait for ages and then two come along at once." I said "No, they are like buses!"

Boxers don't have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is? They don't fancy each other.

I did a gig in the U.S. once for the homeless. I said 'It's nice to see so many bums on seats.'