If only Africa had more mosquito nets then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of aids.

Yes, I have this crazy honk of a laugh.

I don't see myself as offending people.

I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand.

Put Smarties tubes on cats legs, make them walk like a robot.

A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, 'Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?' I said, 'All right, but we won't get much done.'

It's so clear cut with a comedian - you have that reflex action, whereby you laugh or you don't. And so you either love us or you simply cannot see why people are laughing.