If only Africa had more mosquito nets then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of aids.

You never want to be the grumpy guy, although I do have quite a grumpy face.

My mum told me the best time to ask my dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I'd ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying "Can I have a new bike?". He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.

I'm obsessed with TV. How wrong our parents were when they said we should only watch an hour a day. Stop wasting your time reading books.

Swimming is good for you, especially if you're drowning. Not only do you get a cardiovascular workout but also you don't die.

I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.

Like most of the world's population I'm into coffee, my perfect weekend would start with a pint of coffee.