I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me.

I may be middle class, but I'm hard. 'Al dente', you could say.

Women were quite terrifying until I was older. I think that's partly down to confidence.

I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand.

My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.

I don't think it's any coincidence that I lost my religious faith and 'manned up' in the same year. I was described somewhere as a lapsed Catholic, which is funny because I'm not going back! I want to achieve things rather than live life in an animalistic way.

My favourite road sign is 'Falling Rocks'. What exactly am I supposed to do with that information? They may as well have a sign saying "Random accidents ahead", "Life's a lottery, Be lucky."