If two people want to get married, get married! The Victorians had a great saying: As long as it doesn't scare the horses, do what you want. And I absolutely believe that.

I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny. And when you're very, very happy, you're not very funny. You're just happy. I'd rather be damaged and funny.

On her daughter Melissa: The only time she really cried is when I sat her down and told her that she was not adopted.

old age' is always ten years more than we are.

I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewelry.

Anyone that says looks don't count is lying. Of course they do. Even babies go to the attractive face. It's the way humans work.

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.