old age' is always ten years more than we are.

My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, "pick up, I know you're there."

I don't think there'd be a Tina Fey now if I hadn't tried to look good in the beginning.

Why should I cook for my husband? So he can tell a hooker I make a delicious cake?

Mel Gibson's father doesn't think there was a Holocaust? Great. I don't think there's a movie. We're even.

The fun of working on the road means stealing from hotels. I've been doing it for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'