No more Botox for me. Betty White's bowels move more than my face.
Why should I cook for my husband? So he can tell a hooker I make a delicious cake?
I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.
All Angelina Jolie wants to do is do good for people. And she was saying to me: If I could just make one person happy, Joan, I'll die satisfied. I said: Easy! Just give Jennifer Aniston back her husband.
My sex life has gone from bad to pathetic. My G spot stands for godforsaken.