On her daughter Melissa: The only time she really cried is when I sat her down and told her that she was not adopted.

I said Justin Bieber looked like a little lesbian -- and I stand by it: He's the daughter Cher wishes she'd had.

My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn.

I'm in nobody's circle, I've always been an outsider.

Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you.

Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.