I hate McDonald's. I don't want to order my dinner by yelling into a clown's mouth. If I want my face in a clown's mouth, I'll tongue kiss Glenn Beck.
Joan RiversSome women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.
Joan RiversMy mother told me 'man on top, woman underneath.' For years my husband & I slept in bunk beds.
Joan RiversLearn what not to expect. Irish catholic they get sh**** little rings. Irish women get crappy rings. Baptist get the worst because they get the rings under water. When it comes up, it's garbage. Jewish, big rings. Episcopalian big rings. Italians-the best, because they get them off of dead people, and second wives get the biggest rings of all.
Joan Rivers