I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

If two people want to get married, get married! The Victorians had a great saying: As long as it doesn't scare the horses, do what you want. And I absolutely believe that.

A German sense of humor is an oxymoron.

The fashion magazines are suggesting that women wear clothes that are 'age appropriate.' For me that would be a shroud.

There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

Never floss with a stranger.