I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!

There's always an adjective before my name, and it's never a nice one.

I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.

My mother was a very elegant woman. When a flying saucer landed on the lawn, she turned it over to see if it was Wedgwood.

Marriage isn't a contest to see who is most often right. Marriage requires being what the Japanese call 'the wise bamboo,' which means you bend so you don't break. Treat your spouse with the flexibility and respect you would give to a top client. Think how we treat clients; We smile, we are polite, we listen to their ideas. Never forget that your spouse is your most important client.

What we do is a calling...we make people happy.