if you don't think that all life is improvisation, then you haven't been paying attention. Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.

Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you.

I've learned from my dealings with Johnny Carson that no matter what kind of friendship you think you have with people you're working with, when the chips are down, it's all about business.

I have no sex appeal, which kills me. The only way I can ever hear heavy breathing from my husband's side of the bed is when he's having an asthma attack.

Your proudest moment is to watch your egg not just function, but to achieve on her own.

keep moving. It's hard for old age to hit a moving target.

They almost had to cancel the Oscars tonight because all of the designers and stylists are still in line in San Francisco trying to marry one another.