My grandson is mad at me. He's mad at me because I squandered his college fund on Spanx. It's a lot, but there's a lot going on here.
Your proudest moment is to watch your egg not just function, but to achieve on her own.
I use a smoke alarm as a timer.
I could be the Greta Garbo of comedy, very secluded, but Garbo had a man who was beyond rich to support her.
The only way I can get a man to touch me at this age is plastic surgery.
The psychic scars caused by believing that you are ugly leave a permanent mark on your personality.