I'm a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we're making love, but he also puts a bag over his head in case mine falls off.

One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.

My daughter refuses to call me mother in public; my little grandson calls me Spongeslob Squarebottom, and nobody else ever calls me at all.

Never floss with a stranger.

The people voting for the Oscars are so old. I haven't seen one Academy award voter with a tampon in her purse.

When you're first-generation money, you want to say, "I got a Mercedes and a Rolls and a Lamborghini. Take a look." When you're second-generation money, you're very quiet behind your country club doors. I think that's why people are much more aware. It's the first-generation wives that have the huge rings and the second-generation says, "Everyone be quiet as we get on our yacht or our private plane."

My sex life has gone from bad to pathetic. My G spot stands for godforsaken.