A German sense of humor is an oxymoron.

But you do have to learn, if you want to be a satirist, you can't be part of the party. Meaning, you can't go horseback riding with Jackie O in Central Park if you're going to make a joke about her that night.

I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done.

Florida wants to change the state's motto to attract younger people. They're thinking about: More than just a great place to die.

You know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don't know anyone who can see through it.

My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn.

You know you're getting old when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.