I caused my husband's heart attack. In the middle of lovemaking I took the paper bag off my head. He dropped the Polaroid and keeled over and so did the hooker. It would have taken me half an hour to untie myself and call the paramedics, but fortunately the Great Dane could dial.

As a wedding gift, Ray J gave Kim Kardashian his profits from their sex tape. It's 'Something Old' as well as 'Something Blew.'

You know you've reached middle age when you're cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.

Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.

I was just reading about the new Lindsay Lohan diet, which is all liquid. 80 proof.

The fun of working on the road means stealing from hotels. I've been doing it for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.

What we do is a calling...we make people happy.