The worst thing that ever happened to me on stage is someone ran forward to tell me they loved me and projectile vomited all over the stage. It was horrible.

I am a dyke! And I'm damn proud of it!

Money can't buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.

I was born in 1962, and the room next to me was 1963.

You know you're getting old when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.

Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.

With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.