The worst thing that ever happened to me on stage is someone ran forward to tell me they loved me and projectile vomited all over the stage. It was horrible.

I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.

A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.

Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.

Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.

When my husband Edgar and I were courting, he said he couldn't wait to have a baby. It was only after we were married that he changed his mind and decided that I should have the baby.

What could be nicer than to have three horrible children behind you in an airplane, and the next set, you go onstage and you talk about how much you despise the children and what you would like to do to them on an airplane? That's the only time I would gladly take a terrorist on. It'd be worth it to get rid of these children.