Comedy exists to laugh at things that aren't laughable. But isn't it? That's what separates us from the animals. We laugh.
The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.
I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark.
I started my career in a town so small the local clinic was called Fred's Hospital and Grill.
My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.