I could never be in a cult. For starters, they never accessorize properly. David Koresh had no fashion sense, Jim Jones wore leisure suits, and I don't care how charismatic Osama bin Laden was, an AK-47 and an insulin drip do not take the place of drop earrings or a well-placed brooch.

if you don't think that all life is improvisation, then you haven't been paying attention. Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.

I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.'

They almost had to cancel the Oscars tonight because all of the designers and stylists are still in line in San Francisco trying to marry one another.

In life the only thing that you can expect is the unexpected; the only surprise is a day that has none.

There's always an adjective before my name, and it's never a nice one.

At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.