I could stop and live carefully but that's ridiculous. I don't want to live carefully.

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.

Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.

Oprah Winfrey is so powerful that she had the Rapture postponed until after her final show airs.

A female salmon lays three thousand eggs a year - and has yet to receive a Mother's Day card from one of them.

I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.

There is nothing funny about aging: It is rotten and depressing. Anyone who tells you otherwise just hasn't been paying attention.