My boobs are so low I had to put curb feelers on my nipples!

She's so hairy - when she lifted up her arm I thought it was Tina Turner in her armpit.

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.

If two people want to get married, get married! The Victorians had a great saying: As long as it doesn't scare the horses, do what you want. And I absolutely believe that.

Every comedian is furious. Age makes me angry. I'm unhappy at not being able to open packages anymore. I'm angry that libraries have gone. I hate children on planes. I'm very shallow, so they tend to be little things. To be honest, I think I was probably angry the day I was born, you know, about diapers or something.

I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.

Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.