Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny.

I love gay and lesbian parents. But I think we need a law that says lesbians and gay men have to raise their children together. This way, the kids would not only know how to build bookshelves, but they'd also instinctively know how to decorate them.

Can we talk?

The Palestinians cannot throw rockets and expect people not to defend themselves

Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you.

Now, I'm not against sex before marriage, but two minutes before? When the organist played "Here Comes the Bride".

My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I'd scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus - that way, I'd visit him every day.