If you're not a wreck in this business, you're not around.

The fun of working on the road means stealing from hotels. I've been doing it for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.

I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.'

There's always an adjective before my name, and it's never a nice one.

Mel Gibson's father doesn't think there was a Holocaust? Great. I don't think there's a movie. We're even.

My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.

if you don't think that all life is improvisation, then you haven't been paying attention. Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.