I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

I'm sure some of you are wondering whether my breasts are real. Let me just explain to you. This one is, this one isn't.

Welcome to my world! I've been through it all, and I often pinch myself to believe my luck. I design jewlery, create cosmetics, perform comedy, act, lecture, write books, travel, have a fabulous daughter, and a phenomenal grandson-and I feel I'm the luckiest woman on the planet.

I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done. You can tune me out, you can click me off, it's OK. I am not going to bow to political correctness.

Both of my parents got to see me host Carson, thank God. That's all anyone wants: to have their parents see they're going to be all right in life.

Happiness, at my age, is breathing

I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.